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Past, Present and Future

Time, place, thoughts and feelings. Past, Present and Future. This week I’ve had these words spinning round inside my head both consciously and subconsciously; I’ve had a lot of memories pop up on my phone with photos of nights out at university, life drawings from first year and time spent with loved ones. Whilst the memories seem so distant due to the current pandemic, I can remember many of these occasions both vividly and fondly.

My present is far from how I planned it to be (as is the case with everyone), it’s difficult and all-consuming but inevitably manageable. I’ve always been very conscious of time and in the past, it has fuelled anxiety within myself but now more than ever time is at the forefront of my mind, so much spare time but also so little time until my degree is finished.

My future is exciting, me and my partner are currently in the process of signing for our first flat together in Leeds and I’m writing up my first draft of my personal statement for a fine art MA course there. Beginning a new chapter, an unknown chapter.

All of this has made me think and be more aware of time and place; my surroundings, circumstances, thoughts and feelings are always changing and can’t be controlled. So naturally I look for something I can control. Paint. Painting captures something about the current place I find myself in, looking back at my previous paintings I can see naivety and it makes me chuckle because I remember, at the time being so proud of myself and thinking that this was the best work I was ever going to make. How wrong I was. This excites me, what work will I be making in a year’s time, 5 year’s time, 10 year’s time? The future can seem scary but it’s so very exciting.

My paintings capture these places and moments that I find myself travelling through. I’m currently drawn to this idea of depicting a non-place. A place that doesn’t necessarily exist, a place that everyone can relate to. Yes, my paintings might have been influenced from my current location, but they aren’t a depiction of it. They are a moment, a feeling or a snippet of time and place captured and immortalised in paint.

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